I don't know about you, but I often feel like I want to spend the whole of the summer, in the holiday vibe. As the summers pushes in (properly) I know I'll have daydreams about lazing by the sea, reconnecting with endless time and softness, feeling languid, expansive and lazy. Watching whales or dolphins playing in the sea. Maybe a seeing a sea turtle come on land. (I did say dreams!)
(Perhaps your daydreams are of hiking up mountains, or partying in Ibiza, or epic trails in Peru, or something else...how lovely! It's good to daydream and let the imagination play).
And yet, here I am. At my desk. Laughing at the irony because, as I write this, it's pouring with rain ... again. No beach. No languidness (is that even a word?). No lazing. No warmth!
And I am, instead, as I often find myself at this time of the year, undertaking another project of massive creativity...re-writing my website and adjusting my offerings.
And it's a project that's been gently calling me for a while now. But the voice has got louder, what with the extra space that summer affords me as clients take well earned holidays and days out with their little people.
The website doesn't call to the heart and spirit with in you, as much as I'd like it to.
It doesn't add as much love and care as I would like it to share with the world.
It doesn't speak of my work, my offerings, with as much Light, hope, transformations and magic, as is actually present within my client sessions.
Or as is present within me, as I have become more ME than ever before.
And nor was my wardrobe speaking of this.
Huh???? (we'll come back to this) (sorry, that was a bit left field!)
Do you remember the person you were, say, before you had kids, or before you switched careers, or gave up that job that made you miserable, or before your marriage/ relationship ended/ started, or before you lost/ put on the weight?
What were you like?
How were you different to now?
Can you recognise how much you've grown or changed, learned?
In fact I encourage you to do that now. Just take a few moments.
Notice your shifts, your strengths.
Notice what you let go of.
Notice what you allowed into your life instead?
Is there anything that you gave space to which doesn't deserve your time and energy?
As we go through life we naturally shift identity.
Baby into child
Child into adult
Maybe freedom into parenthood
Maybe single into partner-hood
Then come the other shifts.
The ones that challenge what we believe about ourselves.
Personally I can see I've been through so many of these shifts since I became self employed over 12 years ago, that it's a wonder my hubby still recognises me!
When we sense a potential for something more or greater within ourselves, and the voice starts to speak more clearly, we start to act in alignment with that voice. We become focused on the energy that feels more aligned to 'who we really are'.
We start to change our behaviours, our thoughts, we let go of old ways of being and doing and start to adopt things that feel better to us, nourish us, bring more Light and fun into our lives.
We no longer identify with the old version of ourselves. And that can make those around us a bit uncomfortable.
In the Membership last night, we talked about the difficulties that were being experienced by a member when she spent time with her family and friends.
That they still wanted to play the 'parts' as they always had done, but that she wasn't 'playing' hers.
And it was ruffling feathers; people were being a bit awkward/ difficult with her. There was an expectation that she needed rescuing or fixing. She recognised this was their expectation now, no longer hers.
She also knew that she'd done the work to be in her own power, to be her own 'rescuer' and didn't need that old way of relating any more. Yet was feeling the pull of friends and family towards that old dynamic.
And it was starting to diminish this new version of her that she was embodying. She noticed she wanted to limit how much she expressed her happiness around them, wanted to play it down.
It's interesting that often the ones we spend most time with are most resistant to our shifts in who we are. It's almost like a test to see how committed you are to this new version of you.
Like, if you're on a diet and people keep offering you cake or chocolates, with the phrase "go-on, one won't hurt" or, at your refusal "are you sure? It'll all be gone soon" etc.
Most mean no harm by this. But seeing someone grow can be unsettling, more so if you feel as if you're stagnating yourself.
So I ask now; is it time for a refocus?
Let go of the old version of you, and all that went with it and start to move towards the greater version.
How?
Ask: does this (thought/ feeling/ action/ behaviour) take me towards the person I AM becoming?
No?
Then ask: what could I do/ think/ feel instead?
That's not to say dismiss difficult feelings (I'm sure you know I ALWAYS advocate taking care of those feelings), feel them and accept that's where you are, but then refocus on where you are intending to head. See if that shifts the feelings.
Be excited about where you are going.
Be excited about who you are becoming.
Be in the drivers seat of your own life.
Oh, and the wardrobe; well.
When I met my now hubby, I used to wear suits or a lot of brown. It made me feel safe and, now I recognise, invisible.
Then I moved into colour and I loved it. Over the years I built up a collection of colourful dresses and a lot of navy blue. (Ha ha) But I still used clothes to mostly hide and camouflage myself, particularly as I had long considered myself a 'woman of a certain age'.
Then, a few weeks ago, after a healing swap with my friend Ambuka, where, by the end, my baby self loved being alive and loved being in a human body, I had a urgency to go out and get new clothes for my new self, right then.
And I knew the charity shops was a perfect place to look.
So I trusted my intuition, my guidance.
And as I shopped (we have a lot of charity shops here in Halstead), my energy KNEW exactly which items to pick up.
I tried not to question it, even though I was picking up things that I'd never normally glance at. Things that I could imagine only how awful I'd look in them, but I still chose to trust my energy.
But when I tried them on, I was happily shocked to see that I looked nice in them, maybe, dare I even say it...a bit sexy.
Gosh, noooo!
This was such a revelation to me.
And even more of a revelation; I liked the feeling. It felt GOOD!
And I feel I've got part of myself back again.
Now, I enjoy feeling playful in my new clothes (which remind me of who I really am), and choosing things based on this new information, this new awareness, this new identity.
Ask yourself:
What if, right now, I could choose to be the best version of me, what would THAT be like, feel like?
Feel into it. What's it like? Describe it out loud so that you can hear it, and know it cognitively.
Repeat it and keep feeling into it. It'll help you on your journey.
Food for thought huh? I'd love to hear what comes up for you.
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